Weather Report
by Girlbender875
Summary: Shortly after ANH, Han & Luke must go to enemy territory on Empire Day to meet up with an Imperial who is sympathetic to the Rebel cause. Just another day walking straight into a room full of enemies, right? One-shot.


**Greetings! Here's a little one-shot that sort of is AU but sort of is canon. For those of you who haven't read my other stories, you can simply take it as canon with a bunch of random OCs, but for those of you who have read my stories, many prominent Imperials show up in this story as background characters. See if you can find them all!**

**Rating: K+ (um... mild violence at the worst?)**

**Claimer: I claim the Imperials for myself, mwauahah! Oh, but, uh, Luke and Han aren't mine. *sighs sadly***

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><p>The bustling city of Jelwick held much appeal for different tastes. The glamorous center of the city was certainly in the corporate downtown where many aesthetically pleasing skyscrapers shared the sky together, and where the locals would set up shop to sell the most average of items but with a flair that would attract unknowing tourists. The stomach of the city was in the large marketplace to the south, and held immense lines of locals trying to get their usual meals while tourists crammed around to take pictures and point and stare at a person buying a loaf of bread as if it were a novelty. The brain of the city was in the cultural center to the west, filled with museums, conservatories, the University of Jelwick, theaters, and it boasted the most accurate recreation of time before hyperspace in the entire sector.<p>

With all these things in mind, the heart and soul of the city was just next to the corporate sector, but it was tucked around a corner, its entrance through an alley. It was mostly known by the locals, though occasionally a tourist would score lucky and manage to stumble upon it. The heart of the city held exotic clubs, homey restaurants, exciting cantinas, and pleasant little shops meant just for the locals.

On a foggy and moist spring evening, the heart of the city was beating with life. People walked in pairs or large groups, chatting loudly and enjoying themselves. A young couple was strolling down the long walk of the street, arm in arm. A group of rambunctious students were laughing and joking, excitedly walking to the nearest night club they could find to wind down for the day. Some businessmen were heading towards a cantina for a drink after a long day's work. Two young men walked behind them, heading the same way.

It soon became apparent that the cantina the businessmen wished to go to was quite busy. The businessmen, after taking a peek in, opted for trying another place, muttering about how they had forgotten the date. The two young men behind them, however, continued to make their way towards the cantina. They would blend in quite well with the clientele since they were in Imperial uniforms.

"How did you talk me into this, Han?" Luke Skywalker asked.

Han Solo rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Look, Luke, _you_ said you'd do it,"

"_After_ you suggested me for the mission," Luke pointed out.

"Hey, we're buddies," Han argued. "I didn't want to go into this with some guy I didn't know."

Luke looked at Han nervously. "You make it sound like we're not coming out of this alive."

Han sighed. "Luke, stop panicking. We're not going to die. Honestly, you were calmer over the Death Star!"

"Shh, don't talk about that _here_!" Luke hissed.

"Luke, nobody's listening," Han said. "They're off duty. They're _drinking_. It's Empire Day for goodness' sake. _Breathe_."

The two entered the cantina and stopped. The place was buzzing with activity. There were more Imperial uniforms than they could count; in fact, the _only_ customers in there were Imperial officers.

"This isn't going to end well," Luke muttered.

"Remember to breathe, Luke,"

"Let's go over the plan again," Luke whispered hastily.

Han moaned. "Luke, you've gone over the plan _five __times_ now."

"You can never be too sure!"

"Come on," Han grabbed Luke by the arm, going down two stairs which led into the main area. Tables were spread throughout the joint and the bar was curled around the back wall. The lighting was cool and low, allowing for a casual mood.

Luke did his best to avoid bumping into any other Imperials while Han didn't even care, but both were ignored by the officers in general. The two reached the bar and sat down.

The bartender walked over. "What'll it be?"

"I'll have a Twi'lek Fizz on the rocks," Han said calmly.

The bartender nodded and then looked at Luke. "And for you?"

Luke jumped. "Um… I'll wait a little while."

As the bartender walked away, Han looked at Luke incredulously. "You'll _wait__ a __while_?"

"What?" Luke snapped.

"Look, if you want to act like a farm boy and get us both killed then go ahead," Han retorted. "But if you want this to actually _work_, you have to relax. We are _not_ going through with the mission until you relax!"

"We haven't even gone over the plan," Luke moaned.

"Look, if you want to go over it again, then fine," Han rolled his eyes. "We're here to talk to an inside source about Imperial presence in the Anoat Sector. We don't know his name or what he looks like for his own safety's sake, and we have a three hour window to find him. We have a code: we ask about the weather, he taps on the table twice, we tap twice back and that's how we identify him. We talk through code, get the info, and then we leave. Are you happy now?"

"Don't say it so loudly!" Luke whispered.

"Luke, these people aren't even—"

"And my name isn't Luke!"

"Fine, _Benny__ Boy_,"

"It's just Ben!"

The bartender reappeared as the two were arguing in low voices. He placed the neon blue drink in front of Han. "Here you are, sir,"

"Thanks," Han grunted, not taking his eyes off Luke.

After the bartender left, Luke said, "Leia wouldn't want us drinking."

"Leia's not our mother," Han snapped, sipping his drink irritably.

"Yeah, I can tell she definitely isn't your mother from the way you look at her," Luke noted.

"That's a little below the belt, isn't it?"

"Han, I'm just—"

"Look, _Ben_," Han interrupted. "If you go around asking people how the weather is while you're trembling, they'll know something's up. Have a drink and _relax_."

"I don't know what to drink!" Luke retorted. "I just turned twenty-one today, Han!"

"I'll tell you what's good and what isn't," Han insisted.

"You?" Luke looked horrified at the concept. "Han, I trust you with my life, but not with my drinks! You'd make me drunk!"

"What?" Han looked offended. "That's a nice way to talk to your friend! Who are you gonna ask, then? The Imperials?"

"Well…" Luke looked around nervously and then checked his chronometer. "We've got two hours and forty-nine minutes left—"

"Oh, kid, for Force's sake," Han moaned.

"—and Imperials probably know how to drink properly so they're always on the alert. I mean, the Rebels have to call them attack dogs for a reason."

"You've been with the Rebels for almost a year now and you haven't figured out that they over exaggerate things?"

"Stop patronizing me!"

"Look, kid, you apparently don't know Imperials as well as you think you do," Han sighed. "This isn't _Darth__ Vader_ we're talking about—these are real Human beings. They have to wind down, and the moment they're off duty, they do so."

"I'm still going to ask one of them," Luke stood.

Han gave a hurt expression. "You're telling me you trust _them_ more than _me_?"

"When it comes to liquor, yes," Luke replied, walking away from the bar. Han sipped at his drink irritably once more.

Luke walked slowly through the throngs of Imperials. It was true, he had been a Rebel for almost a year, and sometimes that included missions that required a bit more subtlety, but never had he been so deep in enemy territory as this. Being surrounded by Imperials everywhere he turned left him more than nervous, but Han was right—he needed to act calmer.

Of course, this was easier said than done.

Taking a deep breath, Luke tried not to think about the fact that he was probably one of the most wanted Rebels for destroying the Death Star a little under a year ago. The fact that it was Empire Day today didn't help much; all these officers had come together to celebrate the creation of their Empire, and Luke, the destroyer of the Empire's greatest weapon, was going to ask their opinion on what to drink.

He could imagine they would recommend cyanide.

Gulping, Luke grabbed all his resolve and walked towards a small table with two Imperials seated there. They were relaxed, talking to each other calmly and playing a game of chess. They both held the rank of captain. The captain on the left was a man who looked older than Han, though not by much, and had small piercing black eyes, slicked back black hair, and a demeanor of being in control. The woman across from him had a knowing and gentle look about her, but her brown eyes held an intensity and scrutiny that made Luke's stomach knot.

The two captains noticed his approach and paused from their game, looking him over. They both seemed relatively unperturbed by his appearance, and the female captain even gave a small smile. "Can we help you with something?"

"Well, uh, I'm new here—" Luke stammered.

"Obviously," the captain on the left inserted, garnering an irritated look from his companion.

"And I don't really know anyone, but—" Luke then suddenly realized that his own fake rank was that of an ensign and he hastily saluted. "Sorry, sirs!"

"Don't worry about it," the woman waved her hand dismissively. "What do you need?"

"Actually, today I turned twenty-one, and I wanted to celebrate with a drink, but…" Luke scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

The captain on the left laughed lightly. "You don't know what to drink."

Luke blushed, feeling stupid saying that, _particularly_ to the enemy. "Yeah,"

"Well, it's your birthday, so you should go all out," the man smirked.

"What?" Luke squeaked. "Uh, no, I really don't want to—"

"Hey, Mustangs!" someone interrupted.

The two captains turned their heads along with Luke to see a man who looked rather like the captain on the left, though his eyes were a shade of brown and much friendlier, he was built smaller, and was immensely younger, closer to Luke's age than the captain's. He was wearing a lieutenant's uniform.

"Oh, Beillane, right?" the male captain confirmed.

"Kobayashi Beillane, that's right," the lieutenant nodded. "Now what were you saying about a birthday today?"

Luke jumped as the female captain, who Luke belatedly realized was wearing a wedding ring as well as her companion, motioned towards Luke. "Yes, it's his twenty-first birthday."

Luke did his best to make his expression into a smile rather than a grimace.

Meanwhile, Han had finished his first Twi'lek Fizz and was waiting on a refill.

"Doesn't trust my opinion on liquor," he grumbled.

A bunch of laughter caught his attention and he looked to see two grand admirals standing by the bar close enough to be heard. One was a man who seemed rather young to be a grand admiral, with slightly tanned skin, dusty brown hair that was clipped and slightly wavy, and deep blue eyes that matched Luke's exactly. His counterpart was a woman, a surprise for such a high rank, but Han could tell she was fit for the part with her piercing and harsh blue gaze. She didn't seem to be enjoying herself as much as her fellow grand admiral.

"Come on, drink and enjoy yourself," the man said in a mild Coruscanti accent.

The blonde grand admiral crossed her arms irritably. "I'd prefer to be with my fleet."

"Your fleet is orbiting the planet with half its crew on shore leave and the other half celebrating up there," the man pointed out. "You're not missing much."

Han's attention drifted elsewhere when he suddenly noticed more women, three to be exact, sitting at a table playing sabacc. After getting his refill, Han grabbed his glass and walked in that direction. If Luke wanted to get advice from Imperials about drinks, then Han could certainly fraternize with the enemy as well.

The three women were all very attractive. One, an ensign, was dark-skinned with short black hair and glowing blue eyes. She had a small but sturdy frame. To her left was a much older but nonetheless beautiful woman with lighter skin, though still tanned, long black hair that was styled in a braid going over her shoulder, and a slightly heavier build, though it was curvaceous, which made it appealing to Han. The third woman was a very light blonde, her fluffy hair bouncing to just below her shoulders. She had expressive emerald green eyes and a lovely smile.

"Hello ladies," Han said in a deep, suave voice. "May I join the game?"

The older two women didn't seem to mind his company, but the youngest looked mildly cross at the idea. She said in a Coruscanti accented voice, "This is the ladies-only table."

The blonde woman, a lieutenant commander, laughed. "Don't be silly, Zhymmia. He can sit if he likes."

"He reminds me of Numel,"

"Who's Numel?" Han asked. "If I remind you of him, he must be a nice guy."

"He's a flirt," the ensign snapped.

Before Han could respond, another blonde arrived, looking around the elder women's age. She was wearing a black security officer's uniform, holding the same rank as Han: lieutenant. She had a hair clip in her mouth as she was putting her long hair in a bun, but she waved to the three women and after putting her hair up, asked, "Can I join?"

The ensign quickly said, "Here, take the last seat."

"Thanks," the security officer smiled and sat, but then noticed Han. "Oh, I hope I didn't just take your spot."

"Well, I could always pull up another chair," Han suggested. "The more the merrier, right?"

Suddenly, a young man with black messy hair and small brown eyes stood on a table nearby and called out to everyone. "Hey, I'd like to make an announcement! There's an Ens. Ben Lars here who's celebrating his twenty-first birthday!"

Everyone raised their glasses and gave a bunch of loud cheering and clapping while Han looked in horror as the man dragged Luke on the table with him. Luke gave a sheepish smile in Han's direction, his face beet red.

The entire cantina burst into "Happy Birthday to You!" while Han glared at Luke, who was desperately trying to slink away from the young lieutenant's grasp.

"Wait, it's someone's birthday?"

Han turned around and saw two captains staring at the commotion. Both were about the same height, the same fair skin tone, and the same dark brown hair. The main difference was that one seemed slightly thinner and a little younger while the other, who sported a moustache, was stockier in build and had the occasional grey hair speckled in the sea of brown.

The blonde security officer stood and held the clean-shaven younger captain's hand. "Yes, dear; someone's twenty-first to be exact,"

The older captain looked exasperated when he saw the lieutenant showing Luke off. Apparently the captain knew him. "Beillane… of course he would be the one to bring that up."

"I take it he's the social type?" Han surmised.

"To put it mildly," the captain responded.

A tall, strongly built tanned skinned man in a lieutenant's uniform shouted out to the bartender, "Hey, get a Bantha Blaster for this kid!"

"Numel, take it easy!" a blonde-haired blue-eyed lieutenant commander said to his friend.

"Oh, come off it, it's the kid's birthday!" Numel retorted.

Han watched as Luke was forced to stay on the table until the bartender brought the drink over. "Oh, terrific…"

Hastily looking at his chronometer, Han realized that he and Luke now had two and half hours to find the informant. He suddenly turned to the younger captain and the security officer. "It's great to have something like a birthday on Empire Day, but too bad the weather's so crummy."

The captain grunted. "Well, I've felt worse."

The security officer laughed. "Yes, and it's definitely better than being stuck on a starship all the time!"

Neither Imperial tapped on anything, so Han mentally crossed them off the list.

Luke took a sip from his drink and the entire room cheered. Han took this as his cue to push his way towards the poor kid. "All right, party's over… come on, kid."

Luke jumped off the table and had to make his way through the crowd while every one of them stopped him to say happy birthday.

"Great job not attracting attention," Han hissed.

"It wasn't my fault!" Luke complained.

The two made their way over to the bar once more where the two grand admirals were. Han decided that it was actually safer to be near them since they didn't seem to particularly care about Luke or his birthday. However, the male grand admiral did give his regards to Luke before returning his attention to his fellow grand admiral.

"How do you like your _Bantha__ Blaster_?" Han smartly remarked.

"Oh shut up," Luke grumbled. "Can we get to investigating now?"

"I've already started," Han replied. "There's a blonde security officer who's a lieutenant, and her boyfriend—no, scratch that, _husband_… I saw the wedding rings… anyway, he's a captain—you see him over there?—well they're not the informant. So that's two off the list."

Luke stared at Han hard. "Han… two off the list… when the list has probably about _fifty_ names?"

"You gotta start somewhere!" Han snapped in defense.

"Great! We've got probably over fifty Imperials, but we started with two!" Luke announced sarcastically.

"If you want to be so cocky about it, _you_ can ask everyone!"

"Maybe I will! They'll probably be more obliging since I'm the lucky Birthday Boy!"

"Well get going Birthday Boy!"

Luke irritably stormed off, heading towards a table of ensigns. They were all talking excitedly amongst themselves, huddled together and listening to a young brunette telling them about his wife.

"And she gave birth to a healthy boy!" he said ecstatically, showing a picture of his wife and the baby. "He's just the most adorable son anyone's ever had!"

"Yeah, he looks great," the ensigns said encouragingly. "You tell Beillane about it and the whole cantina will know in no time!"

"I'm not going to wait to tell him!" the ensign replied and he stood up, yelling, "Hey, everybody! Listen up! My son was born today!"

The cantina once more burst into applause and cheers and everyone stood to go congratulate him, shoving Luke right in the middle of it.

"Congratulations, Marrax!"

"Great job, ensign!"

"Aw, he looks _adorable_!"

Han laughed as he watched Luke try to squeeze between Imperials and fail miserably, eventually ending up right in front of the ensign and having to congratulate him as well.

"Can you believe that?" Han remarked to the two grand admirals beside him. The woman looked at him coolly without a smile while the man gave a gentle, sad smile and nodded.

The man then smirked fiendishly at the woman and said, "You know, I bet you reacted just like that when you found out you were pregnant all those years ago. I'm sure you were jumping for joy, crying like a baby about being a mother…"

As the man spoke, his fellow grand admiral began to turn red with anger, her fists clenching. She bit her jaw shut and her muscles were taut. Han took a hesitant step back as the woman looked like she was about to explode. He hesitantly asked, "Uh, how's the weather, anyway?"

Roaring in rage, the woman grabbed the other grand admiral and shoved him into a group of officers. The man, despite being roughhoused, only laughed and held out his fists. "Now that's more like it! I've been trying to get you to fight forever! Or… oh, I'm sorry, that's too tough a sport for you…"

Before he could say anything else, the other grand admiral charged towards him looking murderous.

"Okay, _definitely_ not the informant…" Han muttered as the two got into a fight, attracting the attention of the rest of the cantina.

The Imperials all began to cluster into two main groups, one shouting "Morlev!" while the other shouted "Reivilo!" The battle cries continued until eventually the man, presumably Morlev, yelled to his supporters, "What are you waiting for? Take out those traitorous officers!"

Han and Luke, who had just rejoined Han at the bar, both jumped and leapt over the bar for cover, but no one came after them. Instead, the two opposing groups of Imperials tackled each other.

Han peeked over the bar and laughed. "Woohoo! Now _this_ is how you wind down!"

Rolling up his sleeves, Han stood on the bar, but Luke grabbed his ankle. "What in the blazes are you _doing_?"

"I'm taking a leaf from the Empire's book on how to relax!" Han whooped before leaping onto a group of Imperials to get into the fight.

Luke moaned, but quickly had to duck when an Imperial came flying overhead. "Whoa!"

Checking his chronometer, Luke noticed that they only had two hours and fourteen minutes. Then he looked at the chaos around him. Imperials were flinging each other left and right, jumping on tables, kneeing each other, and punching anything they could reach as the two grand admirals wrestled in the center. Morlev got his left hand to pin Reivilo down and pinched her neck closed with two fingers. As she fought to get him off, he shouted, "HA! Admit it, Reivilo; I'm the better grand admiral here!"

The grand admiral's triumphant smirk quickly turned to a grimace of pain as he shrieked out after being kneed in the groin by Reivilo. He collapsed beside her, curling up while she rubbed her neck and then said, "Now _that__'__s _the way to stop a man from breathing."

"I hate you," he muttered, though Luke couldn't hear it over the cacophony—he could just read the man's lips.

After watching all this, Luke just muttered, "Oh, what the heck,"

Rolling up his own sleeves, Luke took one last glance at his chronometer and then decided to get his hands dirty. He stood on the bar like Han did and bounced on his feet, getting ready to go. He had never been in a bar room brawl before, but he had had his fair share of fights against Imperials being a Rebel… although it had never been fist fights.

Oh, well. He was a Jedi. Sort of. Well he had a lightsaber anyway! He could do this!

Luke tensed the muscles in his legs as he prepared to jump…

…And was squarely knocked to the ground by another Imperial flying through the air.

The two tumbled to the ground behind the bar and shakily tried to get to their feet. Luke then grabbed the Imperial and thrust him against the wall. "How's the weather, _pal_?"

"I want another shot of whiskey!" the Imperial shouted happily, his face flushed.

Sighing, Luke dropped the Imperial. Nope, not his informant.

_Now_ he was going to leap into the fight and get his hands dirty.

Luke stood on the bar once more, ready to jump, when suddenly he was yanked to the ground by an Imperial who had noticed him. The Imperial threw a punch at him, flinging him across the table and right into Han, who was busy taking someone else out. When Luke bumped backs with Han, the latter jumped, whirled around, and punched Luke squarely in the jaw.

Luke flew across the table once more, bumping into yet another Imperial. Before the Imperial could land a hit, Luke shouted, "How is the blasted weather?"

"It's gonna be bloody!" the Imperial responded, punching Luke in the gut.

Luke fell to the ground, gasping for air before he finally decided that he didn't care if it was raining fire – he was going to start punching first, asking about the weather _later_!

Luke jumped across the table and landed on a pile of Imperials, punching them wherever he could reach. "You know what? I'm _sick_ of the weather!"

"Kid, what are you _doing_?" Han bellowed from beneath Luke.

"Han!" Luke immediately got off him as another Imperial flew overhead from being tossed. "You hit me!"

"_I_ hit _you_?" Han snapped. "You _jumped_ on me!"

"Well how's the weather?"

"I'm trying to figure it out!" Han replied, pushing Luke out of the way so he could punch another Imperial. "Woo! These Imperials know how to celebrate Empire Day, eh, kid?"

Luke ducked out of getting hit, which made Han get smacked in the back of the head and yelp in pain. However, Luke took the opportunity to hit the Imperial in return before grabbing him. "How's the weather?"

The Imperial punched Luke and then Han in reply.

"Why that—!" Han bellowed, ready to throttle the Imperial when Luke gasped in realization and stopped him.

"Two knocks!" he yelled.

"What?"

"Two knocks, Han!" Luke repeated. "He just gave us two knocks!"

"Yeah, on the _head_!"

"But they were still two knocks!" Luke replied. "What did he look like? I didn't get a good look!"

Han paused. "How should _I_ know?"

"Oh, Han, for the love of the Force!"

The two were suddenly punched again from behind, and then Luke heard, "The weather's pretty clear in the Anoat Sector I hear!"

Before the two could turn around, another Imperial came and punched the one who had hit them.

"This is insane!" Luke shouted.

"Well at least we know about the weather!" Han replied.

"_Forget the blasted weather!"_

Luke and Han both got up only to get punched again, hit each other, and fall to the ground once more. The two then looked at each other.

"You know what?" Han stood up, helping Luke to his feet as well. "You're right. Forget about the weather. You go Reivilo, I'll go Morlev."

"What? I don't want to go Reivilo! She's creepy!"

"Yeah, but I called Morlev first!"

"Why can't I be on _your_ side?"

"Because that takes the fun out of it!"

"Fine!"

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><p>Two hours later, two Imperials, beaten, bloodied, and shabby-looking, reported to a beautiful brunette woman who was dressed simply and attending a shop in the marketplace.<p>

"What in the _blazes_ happened to you two?" Leia demanded.

"Well, it's kind of a long story," Luke slurred as he tried to stem the bleeding on his lip. "But at least we know the weather's clear!"

_Fin_

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><p><strong>Please review! How many Imperials did you find?<strong>

**Oh, and just some trivia: the Anoat Sector is where Hoth is located.  
><strong>


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